Today is the… uh… lemme check. I’m still a bit screwed up from the time zone change. Ah right. The 1st. Rabbit, rabbit. I’m updating this from the Beijing University library computer lab, which costs 1 yuan for 10 minutes approx. (1 yuan = 12.5 cents). Anyway, here’s what’s been goin’ on (damn, this is gonna be massive.)
Reed, Jw0ng, and I took off for China on the 25th last month. After goin’ to the airport and sayin’ hi to my grandpa (he works there), we headed to the security checkpoints. My mom was accompanying us, as she has some loose ends to tie up here in Beijing. Tum tee tum. Reed asks to have his 1,000,000 rolls of super-professional-uber-film hand checked by the security dudes (cuz he don’t want no x-rays to be frontin’ with his super-professional-uber-film). The security dude was pretty ticked off about that one. Then, Jimmy puts his bag on the scanner, goes through, and waits patiently on the other side. The security guys see something and freak out. They ask to check his bag, and make him sit down. After sifting through the contents (and asking permission to open every��single��pocket��of his backpack) they pull out a��..
Ready?
A FRIGGIN�� SWISS ARMY KNIFE
Yessir, Jimmy was dumb enough to try and bring a SWISS ARMY KNIFE on the AIRPLANE on his CARRY ON. They freaked out because Jimmy is so INTIMIDATING and could possibly hijack the plane with his intimidating build. Twenty minutes later (it takes a long time to hand check 1,000,000 rolls of film), we are heading to the plane and it��s off to�� Canada. Vancouver, actually. We transfer to another plane.
Once in Vancouver and after getting�� lunch at the Vancouver Burger King (**** 1/2 by the way), we got on the plane to China. The flight was nice and boring (no crazy turbulence unfortunately), and was mostly uneventful save for the FIFTY KIDS SITTING NEAR ME WHO WERE IN PERPETUAL ��CRY MODE��. Good thing I brought ear plugs. Reed managed to entertain this little Asian kid by teaching him to turn on the reading light and then raise both hands like a foo cornered by da popos. Then, we taught him how to slap himself in the face a bunch. It was pretty cool.
10.66 hours later, we��re in Beijing. The airport here is spotless, but the outside is really dirty, dusty, and smelly. The Chinese government owns the airport, and I guess they��re just puttin�� their best face forward for the foreign travelers. We load our massive bags into a taxi and head off to my recently deceased grandfather��s apartment. The exterior of the building looks like a dump, but once you get inside, it��s pretty nice. That��s how things are here. Exteriors ain��t pretty, but the interiors ain��t bad. We take a 15 hour nap, and are up bright and early the next day at 6:00 am.
We��re studying with a Chinese language program called CLERC (http://www.nanhai.com/edu.html), but that doesn��t begin for a few days, so we��re doin�� a bit of sightseeing. We hop on the Beijing subway (which is extremely complicated with a full two lines, one of which is a loop, and the other is a straight line) and headed off to Xiu Shui Jie, or the Silk Market. Stalls line the streets here, hawking off fake brandname goods from Tommy Hilfinger, to Rolex. Reed picks up a nice Folex, and I get some t-shirts. Jimmy, on the other hand, gets ripped a new one when he buys a fake Gameboy Advance game for 3x as much as it would normally sell (it��s still half of the price in the states). If Alan��s reading this, Jimmy got BoF2. He also wishes he got your bag in the first place. After buying that stuff, we get some lunch, and head back to the apartment for another 10 hour nap. Reed and I wake at 11:00 pm and grab some McDonalds.
The spread of western culture, i.e. rock music and the McDonalds, is interesting to note. Integration of dishes, such as sweet taro pie (yuck) are pretty common. Since the weather is hot like a mutha here, McDonalds sells more ice cream than it does anything else. Some of the bigger restaurants even have small order windows outside that sell only ice cream. Another interesting thing to note is the relative cheapness of the food. A Big Mac meal, about $5 in the states, here costs 17 yuan, or just over $2. That��s still pretty expensive for the average Beijing dude, and much more expensive than an average Chinese meal, but for us, it��s supah cheap. Of course, they seem to compensate by making the portions really small. Super sizing here is still smaller than a regular size back home. Maybe that��s why we don��t see a bunch of obese Chinese people walkin�� around, but that��s a trend that could very possibly change in the near future. In terms of fast food, McDonalds and KFC are the only restaurants that are here. Dairy Queen also exists, but only to sell the ice cream part of their line-up.
The next day, we head to a super commercialized district of Beijing. Stands selling sodas and sweets line the streets, and there are massive billboards and telescreens playing commercials. In one of the malls, we discovered a paintball place. Gonna have to go there and show em how it��s done 
We also pick up some cheapo dart guns, and some fake VCD��s off the street before heading home (The Bourne Identity and Sen to no Chihiro, the latest Studio Ghibli flick (http://www.nausicaa.net)) There��s also this place near the apartment that has the World��s Tastiest Lamb and Chicken skewers. It��s good stuff, mon. What��s not good is the smell here. It��s cigarettes and sewage. Good times.
In the evening, we head off to Beijing University to meet with the other CLERC dudes. We immediately figure out that��
WE��RE THE YOUNGEST PEOPLE HERE
Save for a couple of other High school��ers, Every Other Person Here is going to college. We��re immediately branded as juniors, and we immediately brand them as fogeys. Good times. Jimmy and I share a room, and Reed and Angee share a room. We stay in cable tv equipped A/C��d rooms (I believe it��s a small hotel on campus for visiting people to stay). The campus itself is friggin�� massive. We later buy bikes (steel framed ones for about 150 yuan, or under $20 US each). As you can tell, things are pretty cheap here. You can buy a dish from the cafeteria for a mere 1 yuan, and rice for .5 yuan (If you haven��t figured it out by now, divide by 8 to get the US amount). You can literally eat like a king for about $2 and be stuffed like a turkey filled with stuffing. In comparison, you get a meager amount of food for that same amount at the fast food joints.
On Saturday, we eat at a Korean restaurant. Jimmy gets Kim Chee fried rice. It is too spicy for it��s own good. Angee and I get noodles. They smell like shit. Reed gets tuna fried rice. It��s okay. The restaurant SUCKS BALLS. The waitress doesn��t speak Chinese. She��s in China. I have no idea how she survives.
Shit. I��ve been here for 40 minutes, and I still haven��t got up-to-date yet, and I gotta go. I��ll update this later I guess.
Next time, on Freddie��s Dead Journal:
Watching the world cup with hundreds of screaming fans,
Getting owned on the placement test,
The meaning of life.
