A few days ago, I visited the grave of my recently deceased grandfather. It was a long drive out of Beijing into the mountains. It was a strange day, weather-wise. It was the dark storm cloud cloudy, but there was plenty of light. The very air of that place hung dead, and the looks in the eyes of the graveyard caretakers seemed devoid of life. Thunder crashing mingled with the echoed barks of AK-47′s in the distance (The graveyard was near Chinese military exercise grounds).
The Chinese graveyard system, or at least my experience with it, seems to involve putting the graves on slopes or mountains. Instead of tombstones and coffins, there are larger carved tombstones, and cremated remains. Each gravesite has a large tombstone, as well as a stone that lies on the floor. A small stone pot with pebbles sits on top of this piece, for incense. The more you pay, the higher up you go on the hill. Additionally, a lot of effort seems to be spent in picking locations that are scenic. Traditionally, one must also burn fake money to “send” over to your deceased ancestor. We bought a pack of several million fake dollars for 99 US Cents (the power of deceased currency must not be very strong).
Technically, we weren’t supposed to burn the money up at the grave itself, for safety reasons (i.e. you might re-cremate all of the occupants in the graveyard). They supplied a furnace at the bottom of the hill where you can burn money. “Screw that,” I said, “The money you burn down there probably goes straight to the government, who doles it out bit by bit in some sort of supernatural welfare system.” So we burned a couple of million dollars at the gravesite just in case. Take that, DeadGovernment!
I wonder though, because of the extreme variety of fake money one can buy for burning purposes, whether or not it’s really worth anything in the Other World. I mean, if billions of dollars are pouring into their Neithereconomy every day, wouldn’t inflation be massive? I mean, it’d cost like fifty bajillion dollars to buy a can of Dead Cola or something. I figure the only way for this to work is for all the money coming in to be converted to some standard Currency of the Dead(TM). But that would mean the million dollars we burned would probably equate to something like $0.12 DeadDollars.
Makes you just want to get a Mercedes Benz and burn the whole thing over to your ancestors instead. Save you a lotta trouble that way.
Speaking of cars, we’ve found a gokarting place in Beijing. Woo! It’s not as insanely fast as, say, Germany, but like Germany, there weren’t age/height limits or seatbelts. It’s more fun that way. The danger of a faulty engine exploding in a massive fireball is comfort when you’re taking the next turn full throttle.
We’re wrapping up our study here, and this week, we’ll be taking finals (I am so screwed). Then, it’ll be a ten-day trip to various locales throughout China. Then, it’s back to the states, to enjoy two more weeks of summer vacation before going back to school. I’m afraid I’ll be more tired at the beginning of school this year than I was when we ended.
Gokarting, paintballing, fast food, fake movies, and Coca-Cola make up the various distractions I’ve been partaking in to ensure my sanity. Hell, McDonalds even delivers here, and that’s what a lot of us have been eating. I probably am a lazy spoiled-ass narrow-minded American who can’t let go of his familiar comforts even for a little bit, who can’t stand little sanitary imperfections, and whines when things don’t go his way, a representative of a cynical generation that has things way too easy, who are mostly unfit to take over the world in the future. Or as the guy sitting next to me would say:
“Beijing is hot. The girls are not.”
About sums it up.
