Recently I’ve been adding “reading the comments on the YYZ Video” to my list of things to do while idling on the internet, just after checking my email. While it’s clear that most people are total idiots on the internet, there are some comments that really just stand out as to how incredible they are. I’ve been collecting them for a little bit now and here are some of my favorite comments of all time.
They’ve been taken verbatim, and no editing has been done to correct spelling or grammar:
First up:
holidaygirl77
Thats impossible because Chinise ppl cant play guitar that fast. They can talk in chinise fast tho. TRY DOING THAT INSTEAD AND TRY PLAYING A REAL GUITAR SEE HOW HARD THAT IS!!!
holidaygirl77, whose videos consist entirely of distorted penguins saying inane shit, somehow manages to tie an incredible lack of knowledge regarding the Chinese language, with a “play real guitar” comment. She literally is asking me to play a real guitar while speaking as quickly as I can in Chinese. Moreover, she infers that the inexplicable inability of the entire Chinese race to be coordinated with their hands at any sort of speed in no way affects their ability to enunciate their language quickly. I would imagine that it might be pretty hard though.
oos1008
was the 300 air kicks 100 jumps and moving your hair on evry break really nessasairy? and y do u squint so much?
untrust1950
hes not squinting. hes asian u dumbass
Here, untrust1950 gets my back by calling someone a dumbass for not recognizing a stereotype, which he gracefully reminds oos1008 of. How narrow are the eyes of a squinting Asian, then?
kurius91
ur good but man u r so stupid making that of the motorcycle and that , u think u r god or i dk what but man u r just a geek , and also if i see u making that to my guitar i will make you and ur nation my slaves , i will kick ur az too and that
kurius91 transitions from a half hearted compliment straight to threatening to not only inflict bodily harm on me, but to literally enslave the entire country of China should I be foolhardy enough to “making that” to his guitar.
dufus333
you know, your last name really fits you. “ew”, for extremely disgusting. i meam, wiping your SWEAT and touching that TOY thing you call a guitar?????and just so you know, running your hands through your hair doesnt make you look cool, it makes you look even more gay, making you a cheap and gay drunk who shop at 99c only superstores.
dufus333
you know what. i was wrong. this retarded game isnt just for idiots, its for gay
idiots who drink vodka and rum then go driving into walls with their cheap 99c
motorcycles. barbie in fairytopia is more exciting than this retarded game.
one day, i’ll be the REAL HERO and destroy all these stupid TOY guitars.
doofus333 comes with a staggering one-two punch here. He first infers my last name is ew, from my username “freddiew” which means my name is Freddi Ew. Secondly, he apparently just lets his sweat run all over his assuredly manly body, as wiping it away would be “extremely disgusting.” Also he has a bizarre obsession with toys and 99 cent stores. He also promises similar acts of worldly conquest – he and kurius91 could enslave China and destroy those toy guitars.
Also, for some reason, doofus333 lists my video as one of his four favorites.
isocarpful
ur sogay go impregnATE UR MOM U CRYBABY
I don’t think isocarpful really understands what “gay” means.
boomacdaddy
This is so gay…… your a shammy conartist… stick to your studies, no offence, And you will most likely never see any person such as yourself going off a jump higher then 1 1/2 foot high.. I mean when your like me and go off 4+ footers then i might believe you but good try.
I don’t know what 4+ footers are, but I think the fact I can’t go off them has to do with me being a shammy conartist.
Finally the cream of the cream of the crop:
claydo
isnt it weird when asians talk like americans? it sounds weird.
claydo might not be all that great at real guitar but this kid can dish the hardcore racism like the best of em!
Hope I’ve renewed your faith in humanity!
